As is the norm for most classes in graduate school for social work, we had to write a final paper at the end of the Human Behavior III class that I took this summer.
Human Behavior III is essentially the equivalent of Abnormal Psychology in many other programs in which one learns about the different mental illnesses and how to conduct diagnoses and assessments of clients.
This paper could have been one based upon a number of different mental illnesses or it could have been based upon one of two specific movies (A Beautiful Mind
“An Unquiet Mind” is an eye-opening autobiography written by Kay Redfield Jamison, a clinical psychologist with manic depression who not only brings to life the full ramifications of this mental illness, but also shares the extensive knowledge and experience she gained in conducting research and treating patients with this disorder.
Below Jamison provides a description of the wonderful feelings she experiences at the beginning of a manic episode as well as how her feelings and mood change as her thoughts start moving too fast and she begins to enter her subsequent inevitable depressive episode.
When you’re high it’s tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty….But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many: overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends’ faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against you – you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and emeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. (p. 67)
Below is painful passage detailing Jamison’s entry into a temporary state of insanity and bleak depression until a combination of psychotherapy and medication were able to take effect.
My delusions centered on the slow painful deaths of all the green plants in the world – vine by vine, stem by stem, leaf by leaf they died, and I could do nothing to save them. Their screams were cacophonous. Increasingly, all of my images were black and decaying. (p. 83)
Like the bipolar patients Jamison treated, she too found it very difficult to accept that she had to take medication on a regular basis in order to rein in her mental illness.
Somehow I was convinced that I was an exception to the extensive research literature, which clearly showed not only that manic-depressive illness comes back, but that it often comes back in a more severe and frequent form. (p. 101)
As a social worker student trying to learn and understand various mental illnesses, I am most grateful for Jamison’s honesty in portraying what life is like for someone with bipolar disorder.
She serves as a remarkable role model because she has accomplished so many professional achievements within the mood disorder arena. Aside from all her academic achievements and research, Jamison succeeded in co-founding and directing a clinic specializing in diagnosing and treating people with mood disorders. These accomplishments would have been exceptional for any person but they are particularly impressive for someone who had to cope with the inevitable mood swings associated with manic depression.
I believe that Jamison demonstrates unbelievable resiliency. She also seems to deeply appreciate her life. Interestingly, she explains how she feels that her illness has helped her have a deeper appreciation for all the beauty in life because of the fact that she feels everything (both the good and the bad) much more intensely than people who do not have her mood disorder.
Do you have or know anyone with this mental illness? Does Jamison’s description of it sound accurate? As always, please share any comments or thoughts that this post brings to mind. I love hearing from you!
Photo credits: Leland Francisco
Jamison is one of my favorite authors. I have read both her books and found them very relatable to what I go through in my life. I am also deeply impressed with her ability to overcome her struggles and hope to emulate that in my own life. She is a great spokesperson for the disease. As a Bipolar suffer it is such a relief to read these kinds of books and recognize we are not alone. I hope someday to follow in her footsteps and use my struggle for good and increase exposure for the disease and dispel the rumors that someone is bound by the madness, unable to contribute to society. I am glad you found her reading illuminating and worth further study.
Thank you for reading my post and for your willingness to be so open and honest about your illness.
I’m so glad that you have found Jamison an inspiring and helpful author with whom you could relate.
I have faith in your ability to use your battle with this disease to help others who may suffer from the same illness because you are already doing so by sharing your trials and tribulations via your blog.
Your intelligence and desire to feel better and do more come across loud and clear… and I believe that like Jamison, you too will ultimately find your way to get where you want to be.
Wishing you as smooth a journey as possible,
Best,
Dorlee
I am finding your blog very helpful. I have bipolar schizoid affective which means I get schizophrenic type symptoms as well as bipolar highs and lows.
The highs are very hard to resist, in fact I have got to the stage where I can use them. I go off lithium for some time, often up to a year and let the ideas come (as they do come in bulk when you are manic) I write all the ideas down, but don’t act on them, or tell other people about them. Then when the ideas become too many I start back on lithium again.
I find this works for me. I have a blog on mental health issues and experiences at http://stopthrashingaround.wordpress.com
I only take anti-psychotics when I need them too. I find I can do this because I respond quickly to medication and don’t suffer any side effects.
Regards Maggie
I’m so glad that you are finding my blog helpful, Maggie 🙂
Thanks so much for visiting and being willing to share your mental illness and how you cope with its highs and psychotic features.
That is wonderful that you tend to have such a positive response to medication and have essentially come up with a workable system of managing your illness.
I’m also so happy that you shared with me some information about your blog. I took a peek and I know that I will enjoy following it 🙂
While most people (including mental health professionals) want to say the right thing or be constructive, sometimes they may inadvertently say something that may be hurtful. Your latest post does a good job in pointing out some of those issues!
Best wishes,
Dorlee
I do find reading books compelling. The thing is I could not afford to buy all the books I want to read that is why I rely on the internet in getting all the information I need to know about bipolar disorder. Sometimes I get confused because of too much information that I get but they are useful.
Reading books and using the internet can indeed be most helpful in terms of getting information; however, I would always use caution. Not all sources/authors are equal in terms of quality…