Not at all… Contrary to what many people believe, menopause may be one of the most exciting times in a woman’s life. Aside from women being more in touch with what really matters after menopause, they are able to experience joy on a whole different level!
According to Dr Northrup, there are seven keys to open the door to wonderful pleasure after menopause:
1. Become an Ardent Explorer of your own Pleasure – in other words, notice what you enjoy; pay attention to what inspires and uplifts you.
The goal is to cultivate more joy, moment by moment and to look for ways to make those desires become a reality. For example, if you like sexy lingerie, then go shopping for some new lingerie and wear it – not just sometimes but regularly. Do the same thing with the other items on your list of things that you notice that you enjoy – do them all more often!
Also, think big…because when you think big, big things will tend to happen (it’s the law of attraction). You’re always more capable of experiencing more pleasure. Regardless of where you are on the happiness scale right now, it’s your job right now to get busy and dial it up!
3 minute video clip with Dr. Northrup
2. Turn Yourself On! – this entails rewiring your brain and body to receive maximum pleasure.
According to sex researcher, Gina Ogden, Ph.D., some women are able to experience an orgasm from merely thinking about what turns them on. This works because a woman’s sexual response is related to her total being – her physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual self.
This, in turn, means that you can learn to turn yourself on regardless of your current circumstances.
One of the important steps to get there involves turning off the negative/critical ways of thinking (such as I’m too old/heavy/not pretty enough for that) and instead switch on positive thoughts in a nonjudgmental, mindful manner.
To illustrate, as soon as a negative thought enters your mind, say something loving to yourself such as “I’m so cute for having these thoughts. And how nice that I have the power to change them.” Then immediately focus your attention on a new positive thought pattern that will bring you pleasure. For instance, when you find yourself thinking, “I hate my thighs”…you can change your thinking to: “I love having my thighs caressed… Yum!”
This isn’t easy to do but if you keep at it, you’ll see (and feel) the positive results.
Dr Northrup offers additional suggestions to light your mood such as: using aromatherapy, playing music that gets you in the mood, taking sensual baths and fantasizing more often.
3. Remember that a Turned-on Woman Is Irresistible! – when you feel deliciously attractive and sexy, your partner will inevitably find you attractive and sexy.
However, the kind of high-voltage magnetic sexual energy that brings you the best sex you’ve ever had in your life only comes about when you’re turning yourself on for your own pleasure and benefit…
Celebrate who and what you are. When you make the most of what you have instead of apologizing for your perceived shortcomings, you’re more interested in and interesting to the people around you.
Keep yourself turned on by telling your partner what you like and ask for what you want.
4. Practice Makes Pleasure!
In order to tell your partner how to please you sexually, you need to know how to please yourself…therefore, Dr Northrup’s recommendation here is for you to explore or to engage in “self-cultivation”.
As Dr Northrup states, “It’s how you rewire yourself for maximum pleasure… In addition to just plain feeling good, regular self-pleasuring also keeps you well lubricated and enhances blood flow to the pelvis. Nipple stimulation even enhances breast health. So practice on a regular basis – twice a week, at least!”
She also mentions the power of breath which is important to develop because it helps circulate pleasurable feelings throughout your whole body and provides a number of exercises to help get you there such as the Inner Smile and the 6 Healing Sounds.
As Dr Northrup describes it, once you become of aware of your breath and how connected it is to your sensuality and sexuality, you can learn how to direct an orgasm throughout your entire body, allowing it to fill every organ and sink into your bones.
In a subsequent post, I will continue with the remaining three keys to pleasure after menopause…
Don’t some of these ideas (or their effects) sound fun and/or powerful? I don’t think Dr Northrup is saying that you have to wait till you reach menopause to try them out either…
Reference: Northrup, M.D., Christiane (2008). The Secret Pleasures of Menopause. Hay House, USA.
Disclaimer: The content of this post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Thanks for sharing this information.
I never imagined menopause being potentially such a wonderful time in a woman’s life.
These ideas do sound very nice and worth trying out at any point in one’s life!
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
I think many people are rather reluctant to talk about menopause but I thought it was important to be educated about it both as a woman (it’s something that will ultimately happen to everyone of us) and as a social worker (at least half of our clients are women, many of whom may/will be going through the change).
I have to admit that prior to reading Dr Northrup’s book, I would not have thought that this would have been the case.
Yes, I agree 🙂
I definitely think this a relevant topic for us social worker(as is most health topics). The topic of menopause or peri-menopause has definitely come up btwn my clients and I.
I’ve never this side of the story of menopause and look fwd to sharing this info. Many thanks
Hi John,
It was so nice to hear from a fellow social worker that this was a topic worth covering in this blog 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind feedback,
Dorlee