18 of My Favorite Reader Comments from 2011

This post will highlight 18 wonderful comments you made on this blog in 2011!

As you go through these 18 gems, you’ll see how this blog’s name evolved thanks to your input and get a feeling for the journey of a second year social work graduate student.

Many of the therapeutic issues discussed are the same ones that therapists with many years of experience face. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!

Karen Zgodasaid on… Is It Time to Change My Blog’s Name?

Hi Dorlee,

What a great discussion – you are so skilled at starting conversations! The beauty of putting yourself out there online is that you will always get feedback and as you grow, you will learn to make the changes that make sense to you, not necessarily always the audience, although we do love the attention. 🙂

While I’ve only had a chance to view your more recent posts, and they would apply quite well to students, I’ve felt that your blog has itself transitioned from ‘transition’ to ‘development’ as you’ve grown. I see lots of material that not only talks about how folks found social work (or, as we all know, how social work found us) but also how they build themselves as social workers. I see a similar streak on your twitter feed. A blog titled Social Work Career Development sounds pretty cool!

I ask you:
– How would *you* characterize your blog?
– What 2-5 things do you want visitors to your blog to walk away with?
– Where do you see your blog in the next 2 years?

If you feel that your blog title reflects that then stick with it. If not, you have your answer. 🙂

 

Btrflyglsaid on… 20 Inspirational Quotes for Social Workers

I love this post. Also in terms of “The Cave” our minds most be thinking alike as I put it on my blog a few days ago.

One of my fave quotes is the following……..

Be mindful of your thoughts; your thoughts become words.
Be mindful of your words; your words become actions.
Be mindful of your actions; your actions become habits.
Be mindful of your habits; your habits become your character.
Be mindful of your character; your character becomes your destiny.

I don’t know who wrote this but I love it!

 

Andrea B. Goldberg, LCSWsaid on… Facing the Past as You Help Others Heal

Hi Dorlee,

I like what Nancy said about maintaining an open heart with clients while not taking ownership of their pain or choices. The goal is to stay both engaged and separate at the same time. Maintaining that balance is the key to therapeutic connectedness and good self care.

I believe it is important to develop a genuine connection with our clients in order for them to feel safe enough to take risks in treatment. This is especially true for those clients who suffer from the impact of betrayal trauma and/or insecure attachment, which is most of my caseload. Bearing witness to our clients’ pain leaves us vulnerable in many ways. It opens us up to being triggered by our own unresolved painful experiences, as we resonate with our clients’ pain. It also makes it hard for us to detach from our clients’ pain when a session is over.

We need to be attuned to our clients’ suffering, without being consumed by it. Vicarious traumatization is an occupational hazard that we need to guard against. Some people describe it as having one foot in the door and one foot out of the door, being both engaged and detached at the same time. In my view we need to be fully engaged with our clients, yet also fully separate so we are not overwhelmed by our clients’ suffering. This is a very delicate balancing act.

Mindfulness of our reactions during sessions is essential. Containment strategies are also essential. Containment during the session is needed when our reactions are based on our own issues that need to be set aside to prevent interference with our therapeutic presence. Containment after the session is needed when we are having difficulty shifting gears from resonating with a client’s pain.

Dorlee, I continue to be impressed with your openness and self-reflective capacity, and your efforts to synthesize all you are learning in this blog. Keep up the great work!

Warmly,
Andrea

 

Linda Grobmansaid on… What Do You Do When a Loved One Has Cancer?

Dorlee,

I am sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is never easy. Some people who are ill use CaringBridge.org to stay in touch with far-away family and friends. I know not everyone will feel comfortable using it, but I have personally known 2 (or maybe 3) people who have used it, and it is a way for the person to receive support and to keep people informed about the person’s health situation without the stress of numerous phone calls or e-mails. Friends can post messages of support on the guest book, and the person can access it when they feel up to it. Also, they (or their family members) can post updates periodically. It can be a great comfort to the person who is sick as well as to the friends/family. Maybe this could be a helpful tool for your friend.

Other than that, I echo what others have said about self care and just “being there” in whatever way your friend feels comfortable with.

I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

Linda

 

njsmythsaid on… Parallel Processes, Boundaries & Authenticity

A very insightful description of the parallel process and how it applies. And thanks for your kind comments about our relationship, Dorlee. You’re a very special Twitter friend to me, as well. I don’t get enough of a chance to be a mentor with students since I’ve been dean, so it’s a pleasure to be a long distance mentor to a mentee who is so passionate about learning.

I agree with Mike about boundary crossing–what’s most important is to talk about it, and there’s a lot of growth that can come from it. The issue is how it’s handled. Clients shouldn’t be coming apart as a result of session–and yet I’ve heard many stories (from my clients and those of others, when I do trainings), who talk about dissociating or cutting themselves immediately after a session because they weren’t “together enough” when they left. It’s a huge sign of progress and health when someone can say “things are moving too fast”, “I need to go more slowly.”

One way to make sure clients feel okay before leaving the office is just to allow enough time to close the session and check in with someone to see how the session felt to them. Also, many therapists in my field (trauma) use some variation of “Safe place” or “soothing place” imagery like what is described here: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/imagery.htm Many of my students use the content from the manuals Seeking Safety (Najavits) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (Linehan) with their more fragile clients.

 

Jackie Yunsaid on… 20 Motivational Quotes for Job Seekers

Hi Dorlee! Loved all the quotes. How about two more?

When the job search isn’t quite going the way one wants, it’s good to remember… “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” It’s what Christopher Robin said to Pooh and what we should say to ourselves so we don’t lose sight of the value we bring.

Then, “one of the best things you can do when the world is storming around you is to pause” per Mitch Thrower. And I agree. Sometimes when one is in job search mode, you don’t feel you can allow yourself to take a “pause”, but you can and should. The pause can give you the time you need to rejuvenate and reflect on the job search strategy to see if anything needs to be changed-up.

Take care and good luck on your search.

 

 

Mike Langlois, LICSWsaid on… Spirituality, Compassion and Gestalt Therapy

Dorlee, what an amazing post.

I learned a lot by reading it, and the definition of spirituality by Seinrich may be the best one I’ve heard yet. Thanks just for that.

A book that you and your readers may find interesting is “The Birth of The Living God” by Anna Maria Rizutto. An excellent integration of spirituality and object relations theory.

Your experience in the gestalt workshop was so poignant to read about, and what occurred to me was that you had already been engaged in “living practice” of that meditation before you even sat down. One of the ideas I have enjoyed learning from Buddhism is that practice can happen outside the formal and traditional setting of sitting. It seems to me that you were doing such practice throughout the past several weeks as you breathed and lived your way mindfully through your experience with your X’s cancer.

Thanks again for the walkthrough of the event, you made me a little homesick for my grad program at Smith.

 

Terrysaid on…  Fat Oppression: Stigma Comes in Large Sizes

This is a very important post, in my opinion.

The topic of assumptions and actions based upon those assumptions, is so crucial to all of us. I hope that we will start teaching young children how to question and have an awareness of their own assumptions. Surely it effects how we humans operate in the world – even on a political basis.

I know I try my best to pay attention to my own assumptions when they are at work. They can be so subtle and complex and powerful.

Michelle’s comment: “A client is never just fat. A client is never just poor, never just white or Latino or black. How all these different oppressions intersect is going to inform how they experience them, and how the client experiences them is what is going to inform your work with them” was very profound. I will be thinking about this.

Thanks for raising this issue. And thanks to Michelle for all the courageous work she is doing.

 

Mozart Guerriersaid on… 10 Sources for Evidence-Based Practice

I love using SAMSHA’s database. Not only do they provide EBP interventions that have been tested with specific populations (women, offenders, city, etc). It also tells you the quality of the research that backs up the intervention. I took an Evidence Based Practice in Mental Health class last semester on our professor stated that an EBP had to submit their program into the database, hence, just because you see it in there doesn’t necessarily mean that their aren’t more or more effective EBP’s available if needed. Great blog! I think EBP is great, but I think practitioners still need strong clinical skills if they want to be effective.

 

Mariannasaid on… Menopause – Is it the Beginning of the End?

I wanted to bookend this post with a video of a funny commercial for air conditioners. I couldn’t find it, though.

Perhaps you’ve seen it? A woman wearing summer attire, stomps out of her house in the middle of blizzard. She trudges through the snow to the air conditioning unit, which she exasperatedly turns on. Let’s just say I can relate! 😉

Life is a series of cycles, menopause being one of them. Acceptance does make things easier emotionally, which often makes things easier physically. It stands to reason, though, when one considers how our thoughts and feelings influence the chemical cascade that occurs when we struggle.

 

Laurel Wiig, Ph.D.said on… Are Some Therapeutic Impasses Unavoidable?

I have found that in most cases when I have reached a therapeutic impasse with a client that confidentially consulting with a colleague is very helpful. This usually gives me a new perspective on the situation and is in most cases just what is needed to go through this stage with a client. This is a normal stage in any relationship, especially a therapeutic relationship.

However, I think it so important for a therapist to know when they are not able to go any further with a client (whatever the reason may be)and to recognize it and acknowledge it. Even braver, when a therapist can acknowledge that a client might need to be referred to another therapist b/c of a therapeutic impasse that cannot or seems not to be resolving or improving. We need to do what is in the best interest of our client.

I believe the problem is when therapists believe they can do it all and have difficulty in recognizing and acknowledging their weaknesses as a therapist. After all, we are only human!

 

LovEternalsaid on… What Are Microaggressions?

I love the dialogue that is going on here. This is a very interesting topic. I believe that each person has the right to feel whatever emotion is brought out by micro-aggressions. As an African-American female I have been hurt by them and have felt victimized. However, I also take time to process what is happening and choose not to internalize it. I feel the hurt and then move on. Depending on my relationship with the person, I may explain how that comment impacted me in hopes that they would think twice before repeating it. I have come to accept that some people “just don’t get it”, and that is okay with me. We cannot control other human beings. It certainly does not mean that I accept that micro-aggressions are okay. I think people can get competitive about cultural competency thinking that one person is more competent than another (better than), when in reality we all fall short of every truly understanding what its like to be in someone else’s shoes. I truly respect people who can say “I don’t know what it’s like to be you, but I would like to listen to what you have to say about your experience.”

 

Evitasaid on… 10 Take-Aways from Workshop on Neuroscience, Meditation & Health

Hi Dorlee

This sounds like it was a very, very valuable workshop. Mindfulness and heart-centered living are to me the core foundations of life – or at least a life based on peace and love.

Everything I have experience in my own life is that when I approach things with mindfulness everything flows, and flows with ease and peace. Where as if we don’t apply mindfulness all sorts of chaos can happen in our lives… we may feel like life happens to us, or that we are victims to who “things just happen”.

The benefits are so valuable and I am so thrilled for you that you took the chance to experience this workshop and then share it with others.

Interesting too, I have never heard of that before –> to never define the mind. Awesome!

 

Ann Becker-Schutte, Ph.D.said on… Reflections About Termination in Therapy

Dorlee,

This is one of the experiences of training that I miss a bit. The discrete endings of practica and internships provided the opportunities you described to have clear termination planning. There was a sadness and a sense of growth in that experience. However, out in private practice, things are rarely that clear. Clients have more control over when therapy ends, and sometimes the entire termination process occurs in a single session. I’ve been grateful that I had the extended termination training to draw on in those situations.

 

socialjerksaid on… Art Therapy – The Power of Art in Healing

Thanks for sharing this! We have an art therapist at our agency, and it’s so great to see what she does. Prior to working with her, I would have thought of art therapy as being something really more for kids, but she ran a painting group for parents that was very successful. It was nice to have a group run that allowed the parents to focus on themselves for once.

I get teased at work because of my obsession with using play-doh in sessions with the kids, but it’s so effective, especially for kids with ADHD and other attention issues. It’s creative enough to keep their interests, while also being sensory and physical, and it’s an activity that can be broken down into steps–first we decide what we’re making, then we pick what colors we need, etc. The glass bottle activity reminded me of this.

 

 

Maryann said on … Secrets for Passing the LMSW Exam

I discovered your blog by chance while “googling” for information on preparing for the LMSW licensure exam and I feel like I have found a gold mine. Your blog is incredible! I am a career changer as well from the investment management world and have just completed my foundation year. I can’t tell you how reassuring it was to read your blog. Finally someone who is writing about everything MSW students are concerned about! Thank you; thank you for your contribution.

 

 

Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter (Texas Executive Resume Writer)said on… Musings About MSW Journey

Dorlee,
Hearty ‘congrats’ to you for adding the MSW letters alongside your name! That’s a monumental achievement!

Your depiction of sadness leaving the close-knit family of professors and classmates resonates. I can imagine that is difficult. As well, your new ‘life’ as a graduated social worker sounds so exciting! … the ‘unknown’ that you describe is a thrilling blank canvas that I sense you will paint with the continued colorful, yet peaceful, yet vibrant hues that are within your head and heart.

Blessings to you, Dorlee; I hope you enjoy your ‘recharge,’ a wise way to equip yourself for the next leg of your beautiful journey.

PS – LOVE the Dr. Seuss verse – thanks for sharing!

Jacqui

 

fewerdeepersaid on… The Unplanned Detour

While this is clearly a detour from the “map,” reading from afar (and I confess, not consistently), this doesn’t seem to me to be a detour from your journey. You are pursuing your vocation to be a healer/healing presence to/with others people. Part of that is (as Goethe said) “sweeping in front of your own house first.”

I am similarly called to this work, and have found that opening the doors to how humans experience connection, disconnection, and survive pain…opened the doors to how I myself have done this as well. Honestly, where I am now, I don’t know that I will get to the point of being useful in deep ways to clients, and that is painful. But I also don’t want to become one of the great number of therapists who have good hearts and good intentions, yet whose own stuff gets in the way of their work until they burn out or have a professional transgression.

This is your post-graduate placement – your own life – and (I respectfully suggest) it too is part of your professional development.

Thomas

 

 

Ellen Webersaid on… The Unplanned Detour

Thanks Dorlee, for an inspired article. Wow – you speak for many of here – since any disruption to the ordinary plans we create – falls into categories you laid out so well here.
Clayton Christensen’s wonderful body of work at http://www.claytonchristensen.com/index.html – disruptive innovation – shows how the next level of adventures, rarely come until we adapt to speed-bumps, stalls and stops standing in our way. I work with people who work with Clay at Harvard and speak very highly of him – in spite of amazing health setbacks.
Each time the bottom drops under my own feet, I’ve come to see how it’s time for another shift onto new and uncharted ground. A time to walk opposite of all pre-panned roads. Deliberately I choose to do something different, even if it means simply forgiving, letting go completely and moving on with new plans. http://twurl.nl/rpl8py It’sin doing that change rewires brains to keep winning.
Whenever that thermostat shows me regrets, frustrations, or downers, I simply act. I do anything on an opposite side of what’s pulling me under. When I run deliberately in the opposite direction of a setback, I’ve discovered, my brain’s plasticity usually rewires a surprising new delight I’d have missed on my planned pathway. A finer journey often appears- just beyond our past missteps.
That’s been my blueprint to ensure magic’s built into renewed architecture forward, and I used the opposite-walk-approach again just last week when I hit a speed-bump. Dorlee, would you agree that it’s not the setbacks that make us stronger – it’s the journey on just the other side of setbacks – as we gaze into windshields, and only glance into rear view mirrors that add to our stress http://twurl.nl/6hk45a .
Great discussion – with amazing wisdom here, Dorlee. Thanks for sparking the exchange! Stay blessed! Ellen

     

 

Jonathan B. Singer, Ph.D., LCSWsaid on… Social Work Abroad

Dorlee and @monstertalk,

Thank you so much for participating in and posting this interview. I think this kind of international perspective is invaluable. In my social work career as a clinician and educator I’ve drawn extensively on my experiences living in Mexico, England, and France. Living abroad (or reading a rich and fascinating interview like this one) helps those of us in the USA to critically reflect on what makes our country “American.”

One of the things that struck me about this interview was @monstertalk’s description of her job duties, the education, training, and licensing (certification) of social workers. What do you know? There ARE differences in what social workers do in the US and the UK. This, of course, makes sense for many reasons: 1) the health care system in the UK is completely different than the USA, and with it different laws and regulations; 2) Professional duties reflect societal values, and the US and the UK have different values. The differences in the length of time for psychiatric commitments (6 months vs. 48 – 72 hours) is a great example of how different values manifest differently; 3) In the USA, social workers became psychotherapists in part because insurance companies realized they were the cheapest option around, and psychiatrists realized they could make more money prescribing medications and psychologists could make more money doing psychological assessments. In the UK, I suspect (although don’t actually know) that the nationalized health insurance system mediated some of the factors that, in the US, drove psychotherapy into the domain of social work.

Thanks again for this interview. If social workers from the US are interested in information about how to do social work in the UK, check out an interview I did with a international social work recruiter: http://www.socialworkpodcast.com/2010/04/so-you-want-to-work-abroad-interview.html.

Best,

Jonathan

Please know that I appreciated all the comments and it is only for lack of space (and your time) that I am not showing more of them. 

You are helping make this blog a valuable resource for social workers and other mental health professionals!

I look forward to hearing and learning more from you this year!

With much warmth and appreciation,

Dorlee

 

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Photo Credit: Top 18